Fun Things to Do at the Bowling Alley

  1. Every time you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU JERKS!" Continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
  2. When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
  3. Explain to the owner how your game is "All sorts of messed up" due to platetechtonics, then lose him in lingo. Demand compensation.
  4. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
  5. Wear golf shoes.
  6. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices
  7. Make lewd and graphic references to your "ball". Works well on Senior Ladies night
  8. Play bocci with extra lane balls
  9. Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
  10. Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tongues, then sit down as if nothing happened
  11. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting
  12. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
  13. Hide behind the pins, stick your head up laughing hysterically
  14. Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers
  15. hrow refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted
  16. Make your presence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours
  17. Root for the other team - bring banners
  18. Make fun of your team - bring lettuce
  19. Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
  20. Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEERIKE
  21. Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
  22. Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
  23. Rent all the shoes, eat them
  24. Blatently UNderscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
  25. When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball and run home.
  26. If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs and blame platetechtonics
  27. Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
  28. Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
  29. SuperGlue police whistles to the hand-dryers. Leave town
  30. Walk around asking people why they are here. Do this the whole night
  31. Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an announcement, then expound on the sins of bowling
  32. Name your ball something like "KILLER". Openly boast to everyone how great you are, throw like a wimp, do this all night
  33. Sit in your lane and heckle others with a bullhorn.
  34. Bring a dartgun. Be inventive.
  35. Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
  36. Run around sprinkling "magic fairy dust" on everyone's balls
  37. Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night. Don't even have a Entrance Fee, advertise it like crazy using every mass media known to man, make the 3rd Prize $10,000 and a Porsche, the 2nd Prize $5,000 and a trip to Europe and 1st Prize a coffee mug. Then sit back a watch the fights. Leave
  38. Hand out Pamphlets on Platetechtonics

Fun Files Contents